So I haven’t updated in a while.

Since June 12, apparently.

A lot has happened.

“Hot guy” and I continued to spend time together and things were wonderful and fantastic.  We spent 4th of July together which was super special to me… I NEVER have a date on the 4th, and it’s like my favorite holiday, I LOVE fireworks, and I loved watching fireworks together and making our own fireworks later that night, if you know what I mean… 😉 😉 😉

Anyway, a lot more fun things happened before and after the 4th, and it was wonderful and fantastic and I was SO HAPPY.   We decided to plan a weekend get-away together the first weekend in August.  We decided on camping, and he even offered to pay for everything which I thought was super sweet.  I was so excited for our camping weekend, a chance to just get away, just me and him and our doggies.  I was looking forward to romantic evenings by a campfire and heating up the tent and mostly just some nice quality time together, away from all distractions.

The weekend didn’t go as well as I had anticipated.  The first night we were there he made me cry because basically more or less I didn’t always agree with his every word or thought or idea, because you know, I am an individual myself and also have my own thoughts and opinions.  I’m a grown woman and can intelligently arrive at my own thoughts and ideas.  Anyway, basically he thought I was being “argumentative” with him because instead of just following his every barking command while setting up the campsite, I tried to offer my own ideas to make things easier.  Also because I didn’t agree that a lamp was super bright or something.  Oh and then he got mad because I wanted to walk to the bathroom at one point and he wanted to walk me there, which is a sweet gesture that I appreciate, but the bathroom wasn’t far, I’m perfectly capable of walking myself, and I thought somebody should stay with our dogs.

Anyway, the rest of the weekend went pretty well for the most part, but it was after we came back that he started acting distant and weird.  I felt him pulling away/pushing me away and I didn’t understand why.  Long story, since that was almost 2 months ago now but basically I kept trying to make it better but he wasn’t helping and then my friend who has a profile on a dating website found that HE had a profile there, and it’s a paid website, so he’s like paying for this damn profile even though he’s been dating me.

He had referred to me as his “girlfriend” and himself as my “boyfriend” a few times and when I confronted him about these things he was like, “well we’re just hanging out” so apparently I went from being his girl to being just some girl or something I don’t know.  Bullshit.

But I keep trying to make it better and keep hoping it will get better and finally he confessed to me that he was mad that I don’t do his dishes, rub his back, cook his dinner, blank his blank enough.  So I started making more efforts to do these things, and he told me he would delete that stupid dating profile, which he hasn’t.

Last night I went to his house, despite my better judgement.  There’s been a few times that I’ve been ready to just tell his ass off and be done with him, but the memories of the beginning and how sweet and wonderful and amazing he was and how happy he made me and the hopes of getting that back keep me around.  So I went to his house last night.

Everything was fine, and we were about to order some food.  He wanted me to call, and he had previously had the restaurant’s website pulled up on his phone, so I pulled my phone out with the number ready to dial and asked him for the number and he got mad.  He got like pissed of.  He said I was being “demanding” and thought I should have pulled the number up on my phone (even though he had JUST had the number on his phone) and dialed (also despite the fact that my battery was about to die and I seriously probably had just enough battery to make the call).  Anyway he got like PISSED and made me cry and was talking about how the last time I was at his house I didn’t rub his back and about how I didn’t just follow his orders when we were camping and basically more or less informed me that I’m supposed to just do what he tells me to do without question and just do it.  And my suggestions are apparently irrelevant and I’m supposed to just do what he says.

Anyway so I was crying and I told him I would just leave and he got mad because I was going to leave and because I was crying.  And he was being pissy and quite frankly a dick and I was apologizing and trying to explain that I wasn’t being demanding and that I try to do everything for him etc. etc. etc. and he never once apologized for his own fault.

We eventually made up and the rest of the night was nice, but like, damn.  I think this is borderline abuse, for real.  My head keeps telling me to RUN but something makes me stick around for more…